Can't commit? Understanding commitment phobia and relationship anxiety


246 days ago

Commitment phobia is an extreme manifestation of relationship anxiety, says clinical psychologist Stephanie Bové.

Bové says that while relationship anxiety is common, commitment phobia is more severe.

Read: 'Neither of us can sleep' - how secrecy impacts your relationships and health

She says that relationship anxiety is rooted in fear - fear of failure in the relationship, fear of being inadequate, fear of rejection or of unmet expectations.

People with commitment phobia tend to act on these feelings and withdraw or abscond when a relationship progresses to new levels, Bové explains.

Relationship anxiety can also be based on anxiety about giving up a one's individual identity in a relationship.

Also read: Why many couples today are struggling with marriage

Commitment-phobes tend to run away from forms of commitment such as saying I love you, going public, moving in together, engagement, marriage or kids.

According to Bové, people with commitment phobia have often, directly or indirectly, experienced difficulties in relationships in the past.

I think relationship anxiety feels like its something most people experience in relationships.

Stephanie Bové, clinical psychologist at Saheti School

A lot of people long for a deep connection with others, but that itself is quite daunting.

Stephanie Bové, clinical psychologist at Saheti School

Commitment phobia is an inability to remain committed for a lengthy period of time to a single person.

Stephanie Bové, clinical psychologist at Saheti School

The feelings involved in a relationship with someone who is commitmentphobic are far scarier and intense.

Stephanie Bové, clinical psychologist at Saheti School

Listen to the intriguing discussion:

This article first appeared on CapeTalk : Can't commit? Understanding commitment phobia and relationship anxiety

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